What I Wish I’d Known

When it comes to caring for loved ones, some conversations are difficult, but necessary.
Talking about who will make financial, medical, and lifestyle decisions in the future can feel confronting, yet it is one of the most important acts of love and respect we can offer.

A Hard Lesson Learned

“I thought these were something I could sort later. I was wrong.”

When Mum was diagnosed with dementia, her capacity to make decisions had already declined. Suddenly, the reality hit — without the right legal documents in place, we had no authority to guide her medical care or make safe choices about her living arrangements.

• Enduring Guardian / Medical Decision Maker:
  Without this appointment, we couldn’t make decisions about her treatment, where she would live, or how to support her day-to-day wellbeing.

• Enduring Power of Attorney:
  Everyday bills (water, electricity, rates) were piling up. We couldn’t access her accounts to pay them. We also knew bigger decisions about her home were ahead, and our hands were tied.

These are the moments when the absence of a plan is most deeply felt.

Why These Conversations Matter

It can feel uncomfortable to ask a parent or loved one about their wishes for the future. But starting the conversation early means:

• They get to decide, while they still have the capacity.

• You’re not left guessing about what they’d want.

• Decisions are guided by their wishes, not made under stress.

• You can focus on care and connection rather than urgent problem-solving.

It’s about peace of mind for them, and for you.

What These Roles Mean

The exact terms and requirements vary across Australia, but in general:

• Enduring Power of Attorney (EPOA) – Lets someone manage financial and legal affairs if you can’t.

• Enduring Guardian – Appointed to make health and lifestyle decisions in some states and territories.

• Medical Decision Maker – In certain jurisdictions, this person makes medical treatment decisions when you’re unable to.

📌 Tip: These roles don’t automatically apply to next of kin; you must formally appoint someone.

How to Get Started

1. Talk to your loved one about their wishes for health care, finances, and living arrangements.

2. Choose the right person; someone they trust to follow their wishes.

3. Complete the correct forms for your state or territory.

4. Store documents safely and make sure relevant people know where they are.

We’ve gathered the official government links so you can get the right forms for your location:

NSW
Enduring Guardian | Power of Attorney

VIC
Medical Decision Maker | Power of Attorney

QLD
Power of Attorney

ACT
Power of Attorney

TAS
Enduring Guardian | Power of Attorney

NT
Medical Decision Maker | Power of Attorney

SA
Medical Decision Maker | Power of Attorney

WA
Enduring Guardian | Power of Attorney

The Takeaway

Don’t wait for a crisis to start these conversations. Complete the paperwork while your loved one is still able to decide for themselves.

That way, when the time comes, you’re not just making choices, you’re honouring their wishes.

🕊 Plan ahead for peace of mind – for everyone.